Communicating With The Dead

   I have had a few psychic experiences in my life, but hadn't really communicated with the dead until just recently. I just had a profound experience with someone who has died, my husband. This is a rather personal subjuct for me but I feel like with me putting this out there, I can possibly help someone else who has gone through a similar experience feel like they are not alone.


   Fred was a wonderful man whose life ended way too soon. He died of a cardiac arrest that was also drug related. He passed in November of 2010. I hadn't really been dealing with his death for the last year. I had been drinking off and on and just suppressing my emotions involving his death. For the last almost eight months, I have been sober and I have really been kind of forced to deal with it a lot more. I have felt Fred's presence off and on since he died, a little bit more over the past few months. I think it has been more since Jayden has been back here living with me. Jayden is both Fred and I's son.


   I had always been thinking things in my head but never saying them out loud. Well, a few days ago I really felt his presence in the room where Jayden and I were watching a movie. I thought to myself, "duh, maybe Fred doesn't hear what I'm thinking, but he might hear what I'm saying if I speak out loud. Maybe he would respond." So I said out loud, "Fred, if you are here, show me somehow. Give me a sign." Just after I said that, I felt a gentle wave of coolness pass through me, almost as if he walked right through me. What's even more eerie is that my son spoke of him. He said that he has played with him and that he was playing with him earlier that day. At night, my son sleeps in bed with me but on many a night, he has complained abou "cold covers" and then tries to pull the covers up from the bottom of the bed as though cover himself even more. Just recently, he has been going into Kenny's room to sleep and sometimes will move back and forth during the course of a night. I have always heard that when a spirit is close, it gets much colder. There have been a couple more intense and personal experiences following the ones I have just spoke of, and they have all left me with a feeling of peace. I also have a best friend who died just a month before Fred. Jayden has actually spoke of him before. I haven't really communicated with him though, I am nowhere near ready to deal with his death yet.


   Now I'm sure a lot of people reading this probably think that I'm "bat-shit crazy". All I can tell you is that these are some of the uncanny things that have honestly happened to me in my life. These experiences were not drawn from extremely potent acid trips, I have been completely sober. There is no doubt in my mind that the things that I saw and felt were real. The spirit world is as real as the sky is blue. Anyone out there who has had a similar experience understands. And if you have communicated with the dead, you are not alone. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. From my experiences I draw strength, hope, faith and love.

Celibate For Life

   I find myself in a situation. I'm perfectly content with this situation, don't get me wrong. I have my beautiful and most amazing son back with me and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. We both live with my best friend Kenny in a lovely cabin in the woods. What could be better? Jayden refers to Kenny as his daddy, for his real father passed away a little over a year ago. Jayden is supremely happy and completely content. So am I. I'm just sitting here, reflecting on the fact that I will probably be celibate for life, or at least until Jayden turns eighteen. The thought is a little disconcerting to me.


  You see, I wouldn't be able to bring another man into Jayden's life because Jayden already calls Kenny "daddy". And where on earth would I meet a man anyways, with me living all the way out in the middle of nowhere? Yes I do go into town to do shopping and attend A.A. meetings. Now let's just say that I met a nice man at an A.A. meeting or in the checkout line at the grocery store. What am I going to do, move him into the cabin? Have a "Two Men and a Baby " scenario? I think not. Hey, maybe I could move him into the storage shed outside. You see how this whole situation has me perturbed and perplexed?


   Now I'm not saying that I couldn't date. I suppose that is possible. So I guess I don't have to be celibate for the remainder of my life. But with dating, what can come of it? I surmise that I could be in a serious relationship that wouldn't be able to come into fruition until Jayden is an adult. I have fifteen more years. Will I still be attractive at age 45, or will I already be going downhill fast? These are thoughts that I really don't wish to entertain...


   So here it is. I've laid it all out on the table. I am insanely happy in the situation that I am in. I'm just banking on the fact that I will be celibate for life. I'm really not a sexually-driven person anyways. I would only settle for my soul-mate, nothing less. Maybe I could just become a nun, although I'm not Catholic. Anyhow, I guess I don't know what the future holds. Only time will tell...

High Intensity Interval Training--Why it Works

   I'm a health and fitness junkie. I am also an exercise fanatic. I exercise at least once a day, sometimes two. I want to tell you about a whole new way I've been exercising--high intensity interval training! It's an entirely different trip, I guess you could say. It's my new favorite thing in life, besides my son of course.


   I have an elliptical downstairs in the basement and I had been doing around 60-minutes of steady-paced cardio down there every day. Boring. Yes I had my music I was listening to, but still--boring. Now I am getting a better, more intense workout in half the time! I'm talking about HIIT, or high intensity interval training. I start out by stretching, of course, and warming up my muscles. Then I go straight into an interval. I'll run in place, do lunges, jumping squats, weights, crunches- anything that requires maximum exertion of either my muscles or my heart rate. I'll do that for about 40-60 seconds, then I'll go to steady-state cardio on my elliptical. After one minute of that, I go back into a 40-60 second interval. I switch back and forth like that for around 40 minutes. Then I'm finished. The secret is in the EPOC, or excess post-exercise oxygen consumption. HIIT increases the body's resting metabolic rate for anywhere from 24-48 hours post exercise and enhances the skeletal muscle fat oxidation, which basically means that you burn an insane amount of calories without having to do anything! The intervals completely exhaust your muscles of their stored energy, so your energy is coming from the burning of fat. HIIT improves maximal oxygen consumption (VO2-MAX) more effectively than doing traditional long aerobic workouts. Because HIIT is so intense and condense, it increases the length of time it takes your body to recover from each session. This type of exercise also causes metabolic adaptions that will enable you to use more fat as fuel under a variety of conditions. Doing regular steady-state cardio stimulates your aerobic energy system, where as intense cardio or strength-traing stimulates your anaerobic energy system. Anaerobic literally means "without oxygen", where aerobic means "with oxygen". To get the full benefits of HIIT, you need to push yourself past the upper end of your aerobic zone and then allow your body to replenish your anaerobic energy system during the recovery intervals.


  I know this all sounds a little technical and complex, but it's really very simple. This method of exercise training is superb for immediate fat-burning and weight-loss. I have seen results in only a short period of time since switching to this new form of exercise. And EPOC is only the immediate benefit that I'm experiencing. Over time, my body's ability to convert energy directly into muscles increases. Interval training will start convincing my body to "funnel" new energy into my muscles instead of my fat stores. It only gets better! I am excited about high intensity interval training.I  had always known about it, but I didn't quite know the logistics of it or just how effective it was at maximizing fat-burn. It has definitely made a believer out of me, and I hope by writing this, I can make a believer out of you too!

I Switched To The Electronic Cigarette And I Feel Great!!!!

   I did it! I finally quit smoking. I have replaced cigarettes with the newest form of smoking--the electronic cigarette!


   The first time I went to buy my electronic cigarette, I bought it at Sheetz, a local gas station. It was nice enough, but it had it's downfalls. A pack of cartriges cost $15 and lasted maybe for three days. At the end of the cartrige, my cigarette began to take on a burnt taste in my mouth, which was particularly unpleasant. It began to make me think twice about the e-cig. Then I heard about the vapor room in Frostburg, MD. I went up there and purchased the premium cigarette from the selection that they had. I purchased the "strawberries and cream" flavored liqued, and then the "vanilla cupcake" which is especially tasty. I was thoroughly satisfied with the service that I received there. The employees were extremely helpful and articulate. Their explanations and demonstrations left me feeling confident and at ease.


   The electronic cigarette contains no tar, carbon monoxide, or harmful toxins found in normal cigarettes. I will not be shortening my lifespan anymore. Now that's a plus! I actually smoke less as well. When I smoked regular cigarettes, I felt obligated to smoke the entire thing. The e-cig allows me to take a few puffs and put it away. Also, I save a lot of money. The average pack of cigarettes costs around $5. One vial of liquid used to fill my cartomizer costs $4 and it lasts about two weeks until it needs to be filled again. In addition, the electronic cigarette gives off no smoke. It only produces water vapor, so there are no harmful pollutants being released in the air. I can smoke pretty much anywhere I want, whenever I want. I can smoke in the house without having to worry about putting my son in danger. Now that makes me "breathe easier!'


   For anyone who is trying to quit smoking, I highly recommend the electronic cigarette. Switching to the e-cig has changed my life for the better. I am so delighted that I found this wonderful smoking alternative and I hope that by writing this, I can turn other people on to "vaping" instead of killing themselves with "cancer sticks."

Why Wicca Is My Way

   The choice to follow the path of spiritual enlightenment through Wicca was entirely my own. Wicca is a natural and practical aspect of my being. It meshes easily with the cycles of the universe. More importantly, it meshes well with me and the many facets of my personality.


   Far from the common belief of Satanists, practices of black magic, or worshippers of evil, Wiccans are a benign people who are closely attuned to nature. Their first and only commandment is to harm none. It is a celebration of the moon phases and of the seasons, the positive male aspects and the negative female aspects of nature, the Goddess and the God. This is a religion closely aligned with the sun and the moon, the oceans and the forests, the mountains and the shores. As children of the Goddess and the God, we are all equal. We all play intricate roles in the universal scheme of things.

   Instead of the ten commandments to guide us through life, we have only one: " An it harm none, do what thou wilt". This ever reminds us to be aware that every action that we take, every word we say and every thought that we think into fruition-- is similar to ripples in a pond. For every action there is a reaction. Wicca is an Earth religion, much like the Native American religion. Instead of worshipping within the confines of a building, we often hold our rituals outdoors in nature. We don't believe in Hell, the Devil, or "fire and brimstone". We do believe that evil exists in the world, but that humankind creates it's own evil and that such horrors are handled through the laws of "karma" and the lessons that reincarnation brings. We believe in the Threefold Law, meaning that everything you do, good or bad, comes back to you times three.


   I am a Solitary Wiccan. I don't belong to a coven, I practice alone. It is very rare that I find someone who shares my affinity for Wicca. Thus, I am very reclusive when it comes to my spiritual practices. I have my own portable altar which allows me to practice anywhere, anytime. I call upon the north, south, east and west. I call upon the elements of earth, air, fire, water and spirit. I call upon the Goddess and God and thank them for my many blessings. I practice when I am alone and feeling at peace with myself and one with the universe. Practicing the Craft helps keep me grounded and centered.


   In conclusion, Wicca is a religion of compassion and utmost mindfulness. The craft is generous, accepting and loving. It is unobtrusive, supportive and gentle. It is an ethical way of life that, once embraced, brings immeasurable joy and wonder to my everyday living.

Welcome To Salvation

   Raindrops of redemption soak me to the core

   Let my fears wash away in the pool of my trangressions

   My life is a menagerie of colorful images

   The day filters through with it's illuminous illustrations

   I keep my eyes unprejudiced and my mind wide open

   Empathy is my remedy

   Let the angels of mercy come down--

   Let them wrap their wings of reconcilliation around me

   The clouds are finally clearing

   Peace of mind is setting in

   The worst is over now, I can live again

   I want to be weightless and free

   I'm swimming in a pool of possibilities

   I'm embraced with overtures of opportunity

   I marvel at the delicate dusk

   The magic, the splendor, the awe

   Please don't destroy my delicate daydream

   I'm returning to innocence

   My spirituality is strong, cannot be ruptured

   Welcome to salvation

I Don't Step On The Scale Anymore

   I have issues with my body image, no doubt about that. I have had issues for a long time, since I was about twelve years old. Stepping on the scale for me can be a very formidable thing. If the number that appears before me is higher than I want it to be, I will berate and belittle myself all day and possibly result to drastic measures to lose weight. And of course the number will always be a little higher than I want it to be. So why not spare myself the drama?


   I have been getting much better with managing my quasi body dysmorphia and disordered eating. Like being an alcoholic, I will always be an alcoholic even if I am not an active one. So I will always have an eating disorder even if it is inactive for the rest of my life. Anyways, I wake up and eat a very healthy breakfast every morning. I get on my eliptical and do at least four miles, for about an hour every day. I eat fruit for the rest of the day, if I'm hungry.(okay, maybe that's not normal but let's move on...). I also take vitamins, supplements, and amino acids every morning. I am learning to love and appreciate my body type. I am a mesomorph, a naturally muscular build. That has been very difficult for me to accept for a very long time. It's most assuredly a daily struggle, but the rewards are well worth it.


   Stepping on the scale to see how much I weigh seems pointless to me. I am then judging myself according to a number. If I feel healthy, am living a healthy lifestyle, and fit well in my clothes, then I must be doing something right. A number on a scale doesn't own me or represent who I am as a human being. Aside from scales and weight and body image, I am a pretty spectacular person. I'm very opportunistic about this phase of my spiritual development. Someday I will look back at these obstacles that I am crossing and smile with pride knowing that I have crossed them. In the meantime, I am not going to jeapordize my progress. Therefore, I do not step on the scale anymore.