Celibate For Life

   I find myself in a situation. I'm perfectly content with this situation, don't get me wrong. I have my beautiful and most amazing son back with me and I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. We both live with my best friend Kenny in a lovely cabin in the woods. What could be better? Jayden refers to Kenny as his daddy, for his real father passed away a little over a year ago. Jayden is supremely happy and completely content. So am I. I'm just sitting here, reflecting on the fact that I will probably be celibate for life, or at least until Jayden turns eighteen. The thought is a little disconcerting to me.


  You see, I wouldn't be able to bring another man into Jayden's life because Jayden already calls Kenny "daddy". And where on earth would I meet a man anyways, with me living all the way out in the middle of nowhere? Yes I do go into town to do shopping and attend A.A. meetings. Now let's just say that I met a nice man at an A.A. meeting or in the checkout line at the grocery store. What am I going to do, move him into the cabin? Have a "Two Men and a Baby " scenario? I think not. Hey, maybe I could move him into the storage shed outside. You see how this whole situation has me perturbed and perplexed?


   Now I'm not saying that I couldn't date. I suppose that is possible. So I guess I don't have to be celibate for the remainder of my life. But with dating, what can come of it? I surmise that I could be in a serious relationship that wouldn't be able to come into fruition until Jayden is an adult. I have fifteen more years. Will I still be attractive at age 45, or will I already be going downhill fast? These are thoughts that I really don't wish to entertain...


   So here it is. I've laid it all out on the table. I am insanely happy in the situation that I am in. I'm just banking on the fact that I will be celibate for life. I'm really not a sexually-driven person anyways. I would only settle for my soul-mate, nothing less. Maybe I could just become a nun, although I'm not Catholic. Anyhow, I guess I don't know what the future holds. Only time will tell...