I Don't Step On The Scale Anymore

   I have issues with my body image, no doubt about that. I have had issues for a long time, since I was about twelve years old. Stepping on the scale for me can be a very formidable thing. If the number that appears before me is higher than I want it to be, I will berate and belittle myself all day and possibly result to drastic measures to lose weight. And of course the number will always be a little higher than I want it to be. So why not spare myself the drama?


   I have been getting much better with managing my quasi body dysmorphia and disordered eating. Like being an alcoholic, I will always be an alcoholic even if I am not an active one. So I will always have an eating disorder even if it is inactive for the rest of my life. Anyways, I wake up and eat a very healthy breakfast every morning. I get on my eliptical and do at least four miles, for about an hour every day. I eat fruit for the rest of the day, if I'm hungry.(okay, maybe that's not normal but let's move on...). I also take vitamins, supplements, and amino acids every morning. I am learning to love and appreciate my body type. I am a mesomorph, a naturally muscular build. That has been very difficult for me to accept for a very long time. It's most assuredly a daily struggle, but the rewards are well worth it.


   Stepping on the scale to see how much I weigh seems pointless to me. I am then judging myself according to a number. If I feel healthy, am living a healthy lifestyle, and fit well in my clothes, then I must be doing something right. A number on a scale doesn't own me or represent who I am as a human being. Aside from scales and weight and body image, I am a pretty spectacular person. I'm very opportunistic about this phase of my spiritual development. Someday I will look back at these obstacles that I am crossing and smile with pride knowing that I have crossed them. In the meantime, I am not going to jeapordize my progress. Therefore, I do not step on the scale anymore.