My Biggest Fear Is My Biggest Secret

   Everyone is afraid of something... fear of heights, fear of death, fear of spiders, etc. Even though some of us want to portray themselves as fearless and tough, deep down we all have things that we are afraid of. I hide something from people, it's my biggest secret. My biggest fear is being rejected.
   We all want to be accepted, it's human nature. I like to portray a level of confidence wherever I go, but inside I'm scared. I want people to like me, to accept me, to love me. I don't want to be rejected, abandoned, taunted, or dismissed. This fear is my biggest secret because if people know I am afraid of rejection that makes me very vulnerable. I may seem weak or frail and easy to take advantage of. I am a super-sensitive person and I can get hurt easily.
   I love people. I believe in unity in diversity. I possess an abundance of love, empathy and compassion for other people and I wish we could "all just get along". In a perfect world, we would all love and accept one another. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world and not all people are nice and "good". People can be mean, cruel, manipulative, even violent. Some people are just out for themselves and will stop at nothing to get what they want. It's very sad and disheartening, but it's true.
   I have  been hurt, rejected, ridiculed, and abandoned before and it has caused me great pain. As a child in school, kids could be cruel, boyfriends broke up with me, etc. As an adult, people were close-minded and prejudiced, I have experienced and witnessed abuse, betrayal, and genuine lack of love. I just want to be liked and accepted, just like everyone else. For me, it is a very sensitive subject because I am so sensitive. I want to exude confidence because I believe that confidence looks best on a person. People are drawn to confident people. Deep down inside though, I'm just a scared little girl who just wants to be accepted, not rejected.
   I know that my fear and biggest secret may seem silly to some people, but it is very real to me. I know that I need to build more self-love and inner confidence. Those things are the foundation to a confident person. Everyone wants people to like and accept them, but I think that I may want it, need it too much. The need for approval must stem from some deep place within my soul, some past experiences that have really hurt and scarred me. I must learn how to conquer this fear though. I must become a stronger and more confident person.
   So now you know my biggest fear. Now you know my biggest secret. I think it takes a lot of guts to come out with this publicly. It is something that I have always kept bottled deep inside, so I am proud of myself for writing a blog about this. So what is your biggest fear? Leave a comment and let me know!!!