Friday, December 24, 2010

Philosophies on Life, Poetry, and Other Creative Writings: Girls, Don't Ever Let A Man Bring You Down!!!

Philosophies on Life, Poetry, and Other Creative Writings: Girls, Don't Ever Let A Man Bring You Down!!!: " Okay girls, young women, etc. This is a very serious subject that is close to my heart. Almost my entire adult life, I have de..."

Girls, Don't Ever Let A Man Bring You Down!!!


   Okay girls, young women, etc. This is a very serious subject that is close to my heart. Almost my entire adult life, I have depended on a man in some way or another. Even though I am college-educated and had a 3.75 G.P.A., I never earned a college degree. Except for maybe 3 months where I lived in Grand Junction, Colorado, I have always lived with, and been dependent upon a man.
   Girls, it is SO not worth it!!! When your finances and privileges depend on your "guy's" mere whim, you are helpless, a puppet in his marionette, a spider in the midst of his web, you are NEVER really free. Most of my life, I have been dependent upon a guy. It's not all peaches and cream...
   There is a sense of self-worth and an inner confidence that one acquires when one can prove to themselves that they have an inner strength.
   No female wants to be made to feel inferior, stupid, or less than adequate...like they never (no matter how hard they try), measure up. A woman's self-esteem is very fragile. We as females, so much more than males, need support and encouragement in our lives. It is essential to mental and emotional health.
   For you women whom think you have nowhere to turn, no escape route, no way out, no path to salvation, I am here to tell you that THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT!!! There is always an easier, softer way. It may be more difficult and treacherous but morally it is just "right", and you will be able to sleep better late at night.
   YOUR SOUL IS THE ONE THING YOU CAN'T COMPROMISE!!!! Enough said!!!
   Now if you have a child, the emancipation of your soul is even more prudent. It is not just you whom you are living for. You now have dependents, who are completely dependent on you. It is your job now as a mother, to be a good example for these young souls. They look up to you, you are their greatest teacher in life, so you better set a darn good example for them!!!
   Abuse, and I mean ANY abuse, is completely unacceptable. Physical abuse should NEVER be tolerated!!!
However, verbal abuse is far worse, in my opinion. Verbal abuse hits one emotionally and psychologically in a way that physical abuse can't even vaguely touch.
   So girls, there IS help out there. There are shelters, there is government help ( as well as private) and grants out there... don't be afraid to ask for help or seek out redemption.
   You my young lady, are special, beautiful, and intelligent---DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT!!! Believe in yourself first and those in turn will follow suit and believe in you. YOU DON'T NEED A MAN!!! You are fabulous being single! Plus it gives you time to really reconnect, really get to know yourself!!!
   Remember honey, you are a QUEEN, treat yourself as such....And don't let ANYONE tell you that you that you aren't beautiful...

Friday, December 17, 2010

No Family For The Holidays???


   The holiday season can be a difficult time for many people. Suicide rates tend to go up and there is an increased amount of stress amongst most. Besides all  the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping, the deadline on getting Christmas cards sent out, and the dilemma of what to cook for Christmas dinner, there is an even increased amount of stress and depression for those who don't have any family.
   For some of us, our family is literally deceased, but for many of us, we are just estranged from our family for some reason or another. At a time of the year where family values and togetherness are really important and valued, it can leave many of us feeling empty and alone.
   Now I do have a saying that I hold deep to my heart that has aided me very well in my own life, and that is that when we are children, we are born into a family. We didn't ask for the people that we got or the hands that we were dealt, but nonetheless this is what we got. When we come of age and are an adult ourselves, we have the choice to "create" our own family. And by family, I mean the people who we chose to surround ourselves with, who we are close to and who love and support us like a family should.
   I am speaking as someone who has never been close with my family at all. Ever. With both of my parent's working in the mental health profession, their focus was mainly on their jobs, their "caseloads" more important than their own daughter and their attention focused on how to make even more money and ultimately achieve a higher "status". I always wished that I could wave a magic wand in front of their face showing them that these things are not really what is important in life.
   I can't think of anything that is more important than love and loving family and friends. Even though it is rare that I will ever receive a card or a phone call from them, I consistently reach out to them I refuse to stoop down to their level of non-acknowledgement. I will continue to reach out until the day that I die. Why you may ask? Just because it is THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
   Now that I have a young son, I have my own little family. Plus all of the other good people in my life whom I do consider to be "family" to me as well. The holidays can be tough, but really just like anything else, it is what you choose to make of it!!! Things can only bring you down if you let them. I choose happiness over despair, fulfillment over emptiness, joy over loneliness...
   So for those of us who don't have any or many "true" family, remember that you can always create your own and we all have the ability to have a wonderful holiday season!!!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Philosophies on Life, Poetry, and Other Creative Writings: The Battle To Stay Sober...

Philosophies on Life, Poetry, and Other Creative Writings: The Battle To Stay Sober...: " I have had three close friends die on me within the last year.All three of their deaths were either directly or indirectly a result of ..."

The Battle To Stay Sober...

     I have had three close friends die on me within the last year. All three of their deaths were either directly or indirectly a result of drugs. Having a chemical dependence is just not worth all of the pain and losses that it causes.It hurts the people who love us, and more importantly, it hurts us and destroys our lives and our bodies.  
    Why do people use drugs and alcohol? Usually because there is something missing in their lives. There is a hole deep inside themselves that needs to be filled. Drugs and alcohol temporarily fill this void and makes them feel whole.
     But the void is still there when the chemicals wear off, and we are still empty. What we need to do is find that peace inside ourselves, not look for it outside ourselves. It is the same with people who turn to money to bring them joy. Or botox and liposuction for that matter. These things are just a temporary fix. The joy that it brings is not true joy. It is just an illusion.
    We need to learn to love ourselves, appreciate what we do have instead of wallowing in what we don't have. If we truly love ourselves, we won't want to hurt our bodies with chemicals. Drugs destroy our brain cells, our heart, our muscle tissue, our liver, and so on. our body is our temple. It is the shell that we were given to exist in this lifetime. Lets appreciate it and treat it with respect.
   I know that life can be hard. We have to endure pain and losses. There are many uphill battles that we have to face. But there is also much joy. To look into our child's eyes and see that purity and innocence, to marvel at a beautiful sunrise, to lay on the beach and feel the sand between our toes, to have that special feeling of warmth with our family during the holidays... the list goes on.
  On a different note, I have to reflect on the situation with my son. Because of my alcohol and prescription drug abuse, I do not have custody of my son. right now. The state has custody and he is residing with friends of mine The goal is still reunification with me, I visit with him a few times a week, and I am subject to random and scheduled drug tests. I HAVE to get my son back. This period of my life is the most important time that I have ever dealt with. This is a turning point, All eyes are on me. No matter what, I cannot turn to drugs or alcohol to relieve my anxiety or cover up my pain.
   Sooner or later we have to realize that chemicals are not the answer.The answer lies within us. We hold the key that opens up the door inside our souls.We have the power to free our minds, let go of our insecurities, fears, and distorted perceptions. We can't live or whole lives masking our problems and numbing ourselves. There is just too much to lose if we chose this path. Please, if you or someone you know is afflicted with addiction, GET HELP!!! There is help out there. There is so much more to life that we can experience. When we are numbing ourselves with chemicals, we are not really living!!! I am speaking from experience. Sobriety is the only way to live. staying sober can be a battle, but it is truly worth it in the end...