I'm Scared And Feel Alone

   I have a court date coming up on September 19th. The charges are really bogus and I have a $1500 lawyer, Steve Friend. But I'm still terrified. I've spent too much of my 20's incarcerated, enough is enough. I'm a mother now. I'm doing everything right- going to my DUI classes, doing extra community service, going to meeting, staying sober, taking care of business pretty much.  


   The last time Kenny brought Jayden, my son, over to see me, he said I looked so good that he's going to let me see him more. That's awesome. That made me feel good. J ayden is my world. I can't wait until I can get him more toys and foods that he likes. He really is my only family, him and my cousin Dave are really all that I have in terms of family. I have my wonderful boyfriend as well. He loves and supports me.


   I really have no family. I wrote my dad a letter on Father's Day and he hasn't written me back. He told me to just write him from time to time. I saw him by chance at the grocery store. I just started crying as soon as I saw him because I haven't seen him in so long. I told him about my legal predicament. He said I look good and gave me a hug and that was that. I have been facebook messaged my mom, sharing pictures of me and my son to her page. I messaged her "Do I still have mom? No response. I've been trying to get ahold of my aunt because we've always had a connection and she's always talked to me even when my mom wouldn't. Family is so important and if you have a family and you're close to them, consider yourself lucky. Don't take that for granted.

   So in conclusion, I'm struggling, I'm scared and lonely. But I just have to keep my head held high and keep moving forward. I'm a good person, I love everyone because we're all connected.