Thinking about incarceration reminds me of the worst jail experience I have ever had. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. I ended up incarcerated for about 2 months while I was 5/6 months pregnant with my son, Jayden. I had violated my probation while I was on an ankle bracelet and had to do the rest of my time in jail. The entire time I spent in jail, I was on 23-hour lockdown. I was stuck in my cell for 23 hours a day. On that hour that they let me out, no one else was out but me, so I was still alone. I was handcuffed for the whole hour that I was out, except for when I took a shower. I began to fear human contact because I had been deprived of it day in and day out. They took me off of all of my meds because I was pregnant. They kept switching around my antidepressant which was making me even more crazy. The only solace that I had was in my reading, which I devoured at least one book a day. I could only take tylenol for the intense pain that I felt in my back and shoulders at night, because I was pregnant. Every night was torture, horribly painful, and I barely slept at all. I was delirious, mentally whacked out and contemplating suicide. I was contemplating causing pregnancy complications so that I could be rushed to the hospital. I always told myself, "if you can make it through this, girl you can make it through anything." And I made it. The day that they released me from there was the day the heavens opened up and bestowed their beautiful light upon me. After that experience, I promised myself I would never see the four walls of a jail cell again.
About six years prior to that experience,when I was 21 years old, I caught my first of two felony charges out in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. I had my xanax and ativan in the same prescription bottle and the cops found it after my boyfriend got pulled over for driving under the influence. For future reference, please note that that is a felony.It was an attempted possession charge. The other felony I caught was for giving a girl a klonopin of mine begause she was kicking dope and was very ill. That was a distibution charge. Amazing, I think. I ended up doing 5 months in Denver Women's Correctional Facility, an all-security prison in Denver. That was truly a horrific experience I would never relive again if you paid me one million dollars. But maybe for 2 million. I have also done jail time for various petty theft offenses. It always happened only when I drank. Good thing I quit drinking, huh? If you added up all of the times I have been incarcerated, it would probably add up to about 2 years!!!
My life now is nothing like it was 5 years ago. I have been sober almost 9 months now, completely free from all drugs and alcohol. I have my beautiful 3 and a half year old son, Jayden, who I love and adore. I cherish ever day that goes by and I revel in life's beauty,trying not to take anything for granted. I embrace all that life has to offer and I appreciate freedom. I have opened the door to a whole new chapter in my life and when it comes to jail and prison, I say "NO MORE!!!!!"
